Do you ever wonder what makes someone attracted to someone else, while others seem to repel one another? There are a number of unseen factors that come into play, from pheromones (hormones that are present in sweat, breath, etc.) to sound waves. When I was a Music Performance major at UCF, I learned that every object resonates a certain measurable pitch. Interestingly, sometimes you might meet someone that strikes a dissonant chord, literally.
Even when these opposing or other unseen elements are present, a mature person can usually work past these things, at least long enough to hold a relationship of some sort. But when things go deeper than this, hidden dangers may be lurking.
A cancer recovering client once told me that she had been in a marriage that was all wrong, and only after permanently removing herself from the relationship was she able to gain control of her health again. That is a pretty powerful concept!
Unless you are living in rural Alaska or chosen to live on the new colony on Mars (yes, NASA really is accepting applications), chances are you are surrounded by people, and dealing with others often is a difficult, yet necessary part of life.
Let’s explore some ways for you to identify those that may be causing more than just an annoyance.
If there is physical, emotional, or mental abuse occurring in a place of dwelling, then all efforts should be made to remove yourself from the physical environment (your life may depend on it!). Reasonable individuals will submit to boundary requests. If someone is unreasonable, remove yourself and find help for them.
After identifying the offender(s), you can limit contact or approach the person knowing your goat is in safe shelter, for your health.
A cell biologist by the name of Dr. Bruce Lipton has shown that cells have memory, making it harder for people to change their ways because of nurtured responses ultimately becoming nature. Being raised in a negative home environment, having an unhappy marriage, having chemicals introduced into the body (toxins, medication, drugs) or a myriad of health conditions can all cause an unbalance in individual body chemistry.
Sometimes, in order to stay positive, we must remove ourselves from negative/toxic individuals (or at least limit to small doses).
Or perhaps there is someone you live with that is difficult (such as a child or an ill family member). This will take some careful maneuvering to make sure you are in your best balance so you can best help them, if appropriate. Don’t forget to establish healthy boundaries so you can best help yourself.
Even in seemingly dark or unexpected places, the light shines ever so bright… if we allow it to.
Relationship stress can cause a physical body response, such as:
Over time, this can decrease our immune system function, leaving the door wide-open to future illnesses and diseases.
Friends, we are able to chose. Family and co-workers, not so much. Whether we are in a healthy relationship or a toxic one, the key to success is establishing boundaries. The more unhealthy or turbulent the relationship, the more important the boundaries are and the tighter the boundaries need to be. In long term relationships, it is healthy to realize that ups and downs are not only expected, but a very normal part of a relationship. At times, it might be tempting to jump out of a boat during a storm rather than stay and plug up another leaking hole.
Teenagers also require an extra measure of patience. Remembering that a person’s brain is not fully developed until age 25 can help with expectations. Even mild-mannered teens can go through unexpected ups and downs. As adulthood is entered, great maturity is usually not far around the corner, with the true beautiful colors of an individual waiting to be revealed.
If you find yourself struggling in a relationship, here are some things you can try to create a positive atmosphere and a clear conscience:
Peace in our relationships and peace in our soul is the goal.
Did you know that anger often stems from an overwhelmed liver? Quite a loaded topic indeed. Great relief can be felt through careful evaluation and detoxing. Allergies and Hormones all play a role.
Know your limits and how to balance. Some people think that in order to heal from illnesses, you must put yourself in a completely gentle/non-stressed environment. While that is a nice idea in a perfect world, I believe that we are equipped to deal with the normal stresses of the day (such as dealing with daily work and the people that come with it, raising children, etc.) while on our healing journey.
Relationship restoration is a beautiful thing. But it takes two to tango, and the other party must be willing to be an active partner in revival. You must discover when to patch the hole or to jump ship.
Here is another mantra-
I welcome people in my life who have positive energy and offer support.
Perhaps the greatest gift we can give the world is fostering and creating the most healthy and balanced life we can for ourselves. We will have more margins for dealing and helping others who are less balanced. We all will have dark times at one point in life or another, but they may lead us to be the light for others’ tomorrows. But before you help someone else, you must first help yourself.